13 Ways to Control Your Thoughts: Evidence Based Action for Keeping Calm

Every day, we are met with more information, more options, and more stressors than ever before. The ability to meet each moment with a sense of peace and calm seems out of reach, almost laughable, at times. However, research has confirmed what the wise have been teaching for many millennia: there are effective ways to control our thoughts and keep calm amidst the chaos. Here are just a few that do not require physical fitness or flexibility and have been extensively studied. You can engage in all these practices for free while going about your daily life.

MINDFULNESS: Becoming Aware

1. Mindfulness

Just being aware of our thoughts is helpful. Not judging them, just noticing them. Mindfulness deactivates the amygdala and increases activity in the prefrontal cortex; simply noticing our thoughts strengthens the circuitry in our brain associated with executive brain function making it easier to control our thoughts. Watch them come and go and see what happens!

INQUIRY: Questioning Your Thoughts

2. Inquiry

Instead of blindly believing our thoughts, assuming they must be true because they came from inside us, we can question them through a practice called Inquiry. Simple questions can help us recognize thoughts that are not true or useful.

– Can I absolutely know this is true?

– Can I do anything constructive with this thought?

– How do I react when I think this thought?

– Who would I be without this thought?

– Can I think of a stress-free reason to keep thinking this thought?

REFRAMING: Connect the Dots a Different Way

3. Cognitive Reframing, Reappraisal & Labeling

Many have a well ingrained habit of automatically believing certain circumstances are negative. For example, losing one’s car keys is frustrating. Reframing is all about seeing the situation in a different light. Perhaps instead of becoming frustrated at lost car keys, we think, “I see the universe is trying to teach me patience and/or to be better organized.”

Reinterpret – Something that we thought was bad is not necessarily so; we can choose to interpret the coming of fall as “school is coming (sad)” or “Halloween is soon!” (happy). This is the classic “silver lining” approach.

Normalize – Many of our hardships are quite normal; the first few months of a new job will be especially taxing. Normalizing something means realizing that what you are experiencing is likely true for just about everyone.

Reorder – For someone who values being independent over teamwork, they may chafe when put in a position where they rely on other people. A cognitive reordering is likely needed where we say to ourselves, “looks like teamwork is going to be more important.” d. Repositioning – Putting ourselves in someone else’s place or “walking a mile in their shoes” is classic repositioning. If we can genuinely see the issue through their eyes, it is likely some of our negative emotions will simply evaporate.

MEDITATION: The most widely researched solution

4. Mindful Meditation

The simple practice of meditation has innumerable scientifically proven benefits, including being the way to improve our Working Memory (aka our mental bandwidth). It increases activity and blood flow to the prefrontal cortex making it stronger and more able to dismiss negative thoughts that cause harmful chemicals to flow through our bodies. Like weightlifting for the muscles, meditation and mindfulness are like a “workout” for the neocortex. Also, like weightlifting, the work needs to be done beforehand.

“Meditation is like weightlifting for your brain”

We do not start training our body the day we run the marathon, we must begin months before. As with the body, so it is with the mind. Learning to meditate once we are already upset or emotionally flooded is not the time to start. Apps like Headspace, Calm, Breath and Waking Up all have free options. The free Headspace Basics course is a fantastic 10-day introduction to the concept and practice.

EXERCISE: The one everyone knows and nobody does

5. Physical Activity

Whether a walk, a run, rock climbing or going to the gym, just getting out and moving has been proven to uplift mood and cognitive function. Physical activity also helps avoid carrying too much extra body fat which has been shown to store toxins and divert blood flow from the brain, causing it to shrink over time. The Latin phrase “Solvit Parambulant” simply means “it is solved by walking.” People have found the simple act of taking a stroll calms their nerves, clears their mind, and helps them feel alert to meet the challenges of the day.

BE THANKFUL: Focus on the positive

6. Gratitude

Focusing on gratitude changes our brain chemistry and activity. It allows us to intentionally send “feel good” chemicals into our body. Looking for things we are grateful for also signals to the Reticular Activating System (RAS) in the brain to find more things for which to be thankful. The RAS, located in the brainstem, is responsible for filtering stimuli that enters our brain so we do not become overwhelmed. It is the reason we “hear what we want to hear” and “believe what we want to believe.” Every person’s RAS has been “programed” to only let information through that confirms our existing subconscious beliefs. It is why people hold onto ideas much longer than is logical. The good news is that it can be reprogramed through activities like Inquiry and Gratitude.

JOURNALING: The secret weapon of the greats

7. Write Down Negative Thoughts and/or Say Them Aloud

Challenging ourselves to write down and speak out our negative thoughts shines a light on them. We may find, once written down, our thoughts are quite silly. Putting words to our thoughts and fears also activates the prefrontal cortex because it is the center of language. Doing this balances out our Limbic (Emotional) responses, much like a see saw at the playground. Research shows that people who have a word to accurately describe what they are feeling experience less emotional arousal than people who have no words to articulate their felt experience.

GET OUTSIDE: We’re wired for the outdoors

8. Sun Exposure

Ours is the first generation in the history of the world to spend more of our lives inside than outside. Studies show that 42% of Americans are Vitamin D deficient and 15 minutes of being outside has been proven to help reset our circadian rhythm, allowing for more restful sleep. Brief sun exposure also helps to arouse our prefrontal cortex, which is necessary for optimum functioning.

REST: Not a waste of time

9. Prioritize Sleep

Being asleep is the only time our brain can repair itself and create new brain cells (neurogenesis). While sleeping, the brain flushes out metabolic waste from the day’s efforts, including the same plaque that is associated with Alzheimer’s and dementia. Lack of sleep impairs cognitive function more than alcohol and marijuana and has been proven to shorten life span. Research indicates that we are also the most sleep deprived generation in all of history. This is partially due to fewer number of hours and because constant exposure to blue light (cell phone, laptop, TV etc.) suppresses the production of melatonin in the body, meaning we do not get as many hours of result sleep. Exactly how much is necessary does vary from person to person but getting enough is one of the most important dimensions of life we can prioritize.

UNPLUG: You’re a human, not a machine

10. Disconnect

Research shows that the effect of being “always on” has a detrimental effect on cognitive function over time. Always being available for texts, calls and emails diminishes IQ scores by an average of 10 points (5 for women and 15 for men) and slows mental processing speeds 300% more than being high on marijuana. Turning off your phone each night, disconnecting for 24 hours once per week and avoiding your phone during the early/late hours of the day have all been shown to decrease stress and increase focus.

BE IDLE: The science of insight

11. Downtime

Similar to disconnecting, the brain needs downtime. Defined by Dr. Daniel Siegel as “when we are non-focused, without any specific goal, and let our mind wander or simply relax,” downtime allows our brains to recharge. A recharged brain is better at identifying creative solutions. Downtime has also been shown to be a key player in “aha!” moments that people experience. This area of study, called the “science of insight,” focuses on the way the brain connects the dots in creative ways when we stop “trying so hard” and let the mind unwind. This is partially why an above average number of ideas are generated in the shower.

RITUALS: Habits and routines with a soul

12. Routines

Routines allow us to focus our prefrontal cortex on job at hand by “delegating” repetitive tasks to the basal ganglia; essentially helping us do more things on autopilot so we can give our full attention to tasks. Although “variety is the spice of life,” too much exhausts our higher brain functions leaving less bandwidth for creative tasks. Simple routines like getting up at the same time each day and putting our keys in the same place allow our brain to relax and focus on other things more fully. It also cultivates a sense of control. Many experts advocate for a highly structured morning and/or evening routine where the first and last 30 minutes to one hour of the day is the same every day. The helps start and end each day with a sense of control and empowerment.

BREATHE: The great equalizer

13. Breathing

Though we all take thousands of breaths a day, most people live in an oxygen deprived state. What is more, the brain uses about 20% of our oxygen, blood flow and total calories burned. Studies show 6 deep breaths floods the brain oxygen helping it operate at optimum levels. Try taking two quick breaths in – first from the belly and next from the chest – and then exhale slowly through pursed lips. The short inhale and longer exhale helps activate the parasympathetic nervous system and calm thoughts and emotions.

Ultimately, these exercises work in part because they restore a sense of empowerment to a person. The prefrontal cortex deactivates the moment a feeling of powerlessness goes unchecked. Believing we cannot do something shuts down the very part of our brain that would make doing it possible. From a neuroscience standpoint, the old saying is true: “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right either way.”